'Daddy's song' by The Monkees.

From the movie 'Head', this song is a Davy lead vocal, and one i really like. I actually think this song is perfect for Davy, and wouldn't work if another member of the group sang it.

"Year's ago i knew a man/ he was my mother's biggest fan" are the opening lyric's to this song, and, as the title does suggest, it's about a man, who is reflecting on the fact his father left him when he was younger.

I, personally, think that the 'Head' soundtrack is one of the best ever. What with this song, the excellent 'porpoise song', the brilliant 'circle sky' and the very under -rated 'do i have to do this all over again (long title) on it, you have some classic's there already.

I'm still obsessed by The Monkees. I alway's will be obsessed by them. I love quirky thing's, and the boy's are very quirky. I'm a 'Monkee's' fan for life.

I started my novel yesterday....

I've decided that the only way i can take living in my nuthouse anymore is if i turn a negative into a positive.

I've decided my positive is gonna be writing about all of the bizzare, scary and funny thing's that have happened while living there.

My novel is gonna be about a 20 something woman, who goes to a b&b hostel to live for a while when her rough council estate get's bulldozed. While at this hostel, she encounter's some weird and wonderful people (mostly weird) and it's a diary account of stories that have happened to her while she's living there.

It's inspired by real stories i've blogged about, i've just changed some detail's here and there to make it 'fictional', and so nobody realizes it's actually me who wrote it if i do manage to get it published.

The next chapter i am writing is going to be called "The man who wanted to marry a cat".

Whether it get's published or not, it's gonna be something i can look back on and say i survived. Somehow.

I want out of my house.

I really can't take living there anymore.

The event's of last night (watching someone get beaten to within an inch of their life in front of me) have shaken me.

I feel betrayed by the people i thought i could trust and other's have shown that they are just the scum that some people thought they were all along.

The manager's are seriously dodgy people you don't wanna mess with.

I've had enough. I just wanna leave that hellhole behind me, and have some kinda normality back.

It's not every birthday that your mum almost get's kidnapped.

Yesterday evening's event's were as follow's.

I went to have a bath before the celebration /party thing at my house. As i was in bath, my surrogate dad -turned- alcoholic was standing outside, knocking on the door, waiting for me to come out.

That kinda made me feel uncomfortable.

Why did he want me?. So he and i could go for a drink together. Alone. Lucky me (not).

Anyway, someone distracted him, and i managed to get to my room, dressed and make it downstairs, only to find that surrogate dad -turned -alcoholic is forcing my mum to go to the pub with him.

And when i say force, i mean force.

Some people told him to stop, he went to the pub alone, and i had a drink and some cake downstair's and then sat in my room, with my mum, watching CSI:NY episodes.

A memorable birthday i had yesterday.

My birthday...

Is today. Happy birthday to me.

Seriously, you know how i 'broke up' with my boyfriend?. Well, we're back together. I love him and can't imagine sharing my life with anyone else.

And, he got me wonderful birthday gift's that really tell me he know's me inside out: My favourite perfume, for example.

I'm 32 year's old today. And today is the time i start living my life. With my wonderful boyfriend in it.

Surrogate dad has been ok tonight...

Only because his surrogate son had word's with him and told him what an idiot he's been. Still people are been a bit wary of him.

Today has been bizzare, as usual.

The front door won't lock, so anyone could walk in and steal anything. And are management bothered?. No. But the 'big boss' was gonna call a room search over a missing sock.

Me and my 'clique' were randomly singing christmas song's. As you do.

The new couple think they are expecting another baby, but the bloke is claiming the baby to be isn't his.

A guy on the top floor was looking for his dog. He doesn't have one.

When i write this book of mine, i'm gonna have to tone down a lot of this. Nobody will ever believe this is real.

The sane housemate has gone crazy.

That's the guy who is like my dad. Well, for the last few day's, he's been drinking and turned into, pardon the french, a dickhead.

He's getting drunk on cheap cider and pratically living in the pub, and when he is here, he's asking people VERY personal question's and getting into everyone's business.

Like, he asked a member of our 'clique' what colour hair his ex wife had. That's THE only question he asked about her.

WTF does it have to do with him?.

And, just because i asked his advice 6 week's ago about something, doesn't mean i want it now.

Yes, my boyfriend does love me even though i'm here alone. I don't need you and that smackhead you've developed a crush on interfering in my life, spreading stupid rumour's around the house and pissing people off.

That's what i hate about living here. I'm not sure who i can trust anymore. I know for certain there's about 5 people i do trust without any doubt.

I hate living here.

I ended thing's with my boyfriend yesterday.

I'm not really sure why i did it, especially when i know that there is still a lot of love and affection left there.

There's still a chance we can make it work.

I've had a bizzare few week's (as i've mentioned) and i go through a range of emotion's, from being scared and feeling alone and uncomfortable, to being numb and not bothered by what is happening, to having crying fit's and breaking down. Sometimes it's all of these several times in the same day.

I just have no idea what is going on in my head at the moment.

I felt i was 'bad' for my boyfriend, and felt i was adding to his misery and unhappiness.

Everything is a mess at the moment, emotionally speaking.

And my boyfriend (i can't bear to call him an 'ex' as that feel's wrong) has some thing's he need's to work on, and i'm gonna support him while he deal's with them.

That's what you do when you love someone.

I am confident that we can get that spark back and get back together someday.

You can't help how you feel.

That's one thing i've learned over time. You can't help how you feel, and you can't repress those feeling's, otherwise, you end up depressed and miserable.

I've been doing that a lot recently. Repressing how i feel. Scared to hurt the people i care about.

The problem with doing that then becomes a vicious circle of me pretending i don't feel what i feel, and then, whenever i do try to explain how i feel, i feel so guilty for pretending everything is fine anyway, i just keep on pretending (and keeping quiet).

I know i have to be honest about how i feel, no matter how much it hurt's. It's best to get everything out in the open now.

I love living where i live.

Not in the house, obviously, but i do like living beside the coast.

I don't know if i've mentioned it before, but i have a lovely park and the beach just down the street from where i live at the moment, and then, at the top of the street, i have shop's, and just off the street i have the main shopping area.

It's brilliant if you have nothing to do, you can just take a walk around the place, and it fill's in a day, easilly.

I have fallen a bit in love with the place i live now. It does feel like 'home' now. Even if i move away from here, i will be back, as a little bit of my heart will remain here.

'Person of Interest' is back this week.

After what seem's like a wait of month's, the brilliant show that is 'Person of Interest' is back on channel 5 this week.

We, the good people of the United Kingdom, are only a season behind (please note the sarcasm in my voice there), so hopefully channel 5 won't put it on a 'mid season break' for week's, like they did when they showed season one LAST YEAR.

P.O.I is a brilliant show. Along with the excellent 'Justified', these 2 show's are, in my humble opinion, the 2 best U.S drama's out there at the moment. Well written, and not treating viewer's like we're six, both are complex, funny at times and excellent.

I am glad 'P.O.I' is back. Now, all we need now is for channel 5 to start treating it better, and i'm sure the fanbase (well, this fan anyway) will be very happy.

Welcome back Reese, Finch, Fusco and Carter. We missed you.

The local library's computer's are crap.

A housemate /friend asked me to help him do a flyer for a nightclub thing he's organizing (he's a dj) on the computer.

Now, that isn't a problem. Done it before, and it turned out ok.

But, i swear, the local library's computer's had Fred Flinstone designing them.

Actually, even he'd think they were ancient.

For a start, the word art wouldn't go into place. And then, when it eventually did go where we wanted it to go, the picture kept dissapearing.

Then, the computer decided, no matter how much i played with the margin's /page layout, it wouldn't let us actually move the picture. Or resize it.

Then, when we did the footer, the picture and word art went onto another page, or dissapeared altogether.

And then, when we managed to actually get everything to go right, we discovered the printer was out of use. So we had to save it to his email to print out later.

It was an event that is worthy of a mention in the 'this could only happen at my house' log i'm keeping.

Having a dvd night tonight.

With my mum. It's  nice just to have some time together, away from the insanity of the house.

Decided we are gonna work our way through some tv boxset's and watch an episode of each of the following;

Monk (a re-watch).

Arrested Development.

Castle (a re-watch).

Supernatural. (I've seen it before, but my mum hasn't).

CSI (all 3. All re-watches).

The Big Bang Theory. (Re-watch. Big fan's of the show).

Numb3rs (another re-watch, and another favourite).

And gonna check out the local CEX to see if they have another boxset we can work our way through. Maybe something we haven't seen for ages, or something new.

Gonna do the dvd night once or twice a week, and just chill with my mum, like we used to do.

More bizzareness from my house.

Yes, yet another post about the nuthouse where i currently live.

Last night, one of the guy's had a blazing row (and i mean screaming and shouting and yelling) with his non -resident girlfriend right outside the door for the entire house to hear.

Another guy turned up, got shown to his room, went downstairs to do the paperwork and when he went back to his room, they had put some other guy in it.

The new couple managed to get their tv in their room, only to have the reception interupted everytime a car goes past (they are on the main road side of the building).

The manager this morning was shocked when i took my own bread down for breakfast this morning. On the day there was actually bread left.

And i lent my hair dryer to someone, and then it seem's it's taking a tour of the place, as no one quite knows where it is. And i need it to blow dry my hair.

All in all, life at the moment is very bizzare.

I would like to open a shop.

It's taken a while, but i have discovered (at last) what i wanna do with my life.

I would like to open a shop.

Not just any shop, but a gift shop, selling lot's of lovely thing's (and i was thinking about selling dresses too, maybe special occassion dresses, like prom dresses, but i can sort the details out later), hopefully get some crafter's on board and convince them to sell their stuff in my store.

I know it may not be a 'big dream' to many people, but it is to me. I'm tired of being unemployed and rejected from work. I wanna be pro-active in my life.

I wanna create something from nothing and nuture it and watch it grow. I know, in my heart, this is what i wanna do.

I still have to sort out the small detail's, but the passion is there, and i'm determent some day, i'm gonna live the dream.

Weird conversation i had this morning.

Another story from my house, that happened this morning.

Manager: Did you pay the money?.
Me: What money?.
Manager: For the front door key.
Me: Front door key?.
Manager: The front door key you lost in asda.
Me: I didn't lose my key.
Manager: Yes, you did. In asda the other day.
Me: I've not lost my key.
Manager: I have it written down. You told me about it the other day.
Another resident: Wasn't that Tracey?.
Manager: Ah, it was. Yes. (pause). Do you know if she paid for her new key?.

I swear the place get's weirder day after day. And some guy this morning had 7 slices of toast (the manager only put's out one loaf of bread) so that was fun. Not.

At least living in this house is providing me with plenty of stories to tell.

More random thing's from my house.

The next chapter in the never ending saga of my house (and the people i live with).

I flooded the kitchen earlier. How?. Well, i was washing a pan in the sink and, while looking for a bottle of washing up liquid (that someone has stole), the tap over flowed and kitchen flooded.

My bad.

As mentioned, someone has stolen 2 bottles of washing up liquid. And the kitchen bin.

At 8 in the morning, there's 2 big packet's of sugar. By 8.30, there's none left. Someone has a sugar fetish.

The gay cat guy is turning more into a woman as the day's go on. And he is still looking for the cat at 3 in the morning.

Some guy is hanging out of the window with his tv aerial trying to get a reception. And i mean, hanging out.

Someone tried to climb into one of the downstairs windows, while drunk, thinking it was a house up the road.

I am not making up these random and bizzare stories. Sometimes truth IS stranger than fiction.

My best memory of one of my friend's.

Without a doubt, the best moment i've ever spent with one of my friend's was the moment AnneMarie, a friend of mine, found out she was pregnant.

And i was with her.

About 8 month's earlier, her husband and her suffered a miscarriage, and the pair decided that maybe they weren't meant to be parent's, so my friend decided to sign up to university and follow her dream of being a doctor.

And then, about 3 week's after she was accepted at uni, she found out she was pregnant.

She was complaining of flu like symptoms for about a month, and when she was late for the second month in a row, she decided to do a pregnancy test (even though she said it was less than zero chance it would be positive). When the test showed positive, she made me go and get her another test, and that was positive too.

Fast forward four year's, she now has an adorable little boy, and is still at uni, following her dream to be a doctor. And i'll never forget the day she found out she was pregnant.

This is what has happened (so far)in my house.

Yes, another post about my bizzare living arrangement's, but, in my defense, this is a once- in- a -lifetime experience i am living (thank God) and i want to share the bizzzare happenings of what goes on in my house.
 
Here goes.
 
We had a handy man, who, not only could not fix anything at all, but managed to make what ever was broken worse by attempting to fix it in the first place. And he got paid to do it.
 
We have the gay guy, who wear's women's clothing and false boobs, who has become majorly obsessed with a cat that isn't his and vaccuming at 4 in the morning. He also told everyone he was leaving, and then complained that everyone knew he was leaving.
 
We had the guy next door to me who went to live in a tent with some weird alcoholic who threatened to kill him on an hourly basis. He also stole bedding from the house to take to said tent, but he also has taken his fridge freezer to tent with him. I thought he was gonna sell it, but no, apparently he has it there with him.
 
We have camera's all over the place that don't work. Correction, they do work, but are about 6 month's behind 'real time' events.
 
We have a manager who doesn't have a clue what is going on, and doesn't really care what is going on. He also complains about plates and cutlery going missing, while he, actually, has a large collection of plates and cutlery gathering in his office.
 
We have a 'big boss' who makes no secret of the fact he knows a LOT of dodgy people, and then we have dodgy people go 'missing' from our place, and some suspicion's of maybe the big bosses know more about the 'missing' people than what they let on.
 
We have a chav from Sunderland who want's to marry a former multi millionnaire, and the former multi millionnaire going to probation offices with Sunderland chav. He doesn't want to marry her, though.
 
We have dodgy alarm's and electric's in the place, and nobody will listen to the only person who knows how to fix them (and what is wrong with them in the first place) because she's a woman.
 
We have no lock's on any of thje bathroom door's. And the light's in the shower room's don't work.
 
We have no light's on the stair's the majority of the time. And they're dodgy stairs. Cue lot's of people (me included) falling down some of them.
 
We have all, at some point, been out to look for (and collect) a cat that, not only isn't ours, but has a home and owner's who love it. Oh, and it's a boy cat (called tiger) but the gay guy call's it a girl cat called Darling, so we have a transexual cat.
 
We got asked to write list's of what repairs needed doing in our room's. Not only did the repair's not get done, but it managed to cause an argument with 2 member's of the house, and resulted in one of the two being punched and hospitalized for a night.
 
There's probably a lot more stories i could (and probably will) share when i have time to think about all the bizzareevent's that i have witnessed in the last couple of month's. It's one of those 'twilight zone' moment's, when you either have to laugh or cry at the situation.  I choose to laugh, and count down the day's until i crack up totally because i lived in that house.

My friend, who is like my dad, is leaving in 3 week's.

Ever since we moved into the house, this guy has befriended my mum and i, helped us out load's with advice and just listening to our problem's, and became part of our family.

And last night he broke the news to us that he's leaving in 3 week's, to take a job in London.

I'm happy for him, of course i am, but i am sad that he's going. Like i said, he's become part of our family, and like a surrogate dad to me, and i really can't imagine my life without him.

I'm gonna be an emotional wreck, as usual, when he goes. I'm gonna miss him load's. I am gonna try to spend as much time as i can with him before he goes, in case he forget's about me when he does leave (that's a joke. I think).

Being serious, i think the last few week's have, in a bizzare way, being good for me. It's made me analyze what i want out of life, and made me meet new people and try new thing's.

And, not that you'll ever read this, but thank you Mark for being there for me.

Last night's house event's.

Friday night's at my house is now known as 'kick off night', because every Friday, someone always has a fight with someone else.
 
Last night was no exception.
 
First off, we had my friend, who hit the partner of a woman who lives with us, due to a very big misunderstanding, that was all due to a list of repairs that needed doing in my friend's room. Last night, the woman came in, begged my friend to appologize to her partner (who tried to attack my friend, first, according to report's, as i wasn't there, he refused, and then announced he was leaving.
 
My friend is like family to me (yes, it's happened: some people in there are actually like family. I've bonded with people, and it's nice not to feel alone) and if he did leave, then i'd miss him. He's like a dad to me.
 
Second off, we had the resident drunk (the one who tried to seduce the gay guy on my landing after she had a row with her boyfriend, who she's known for 4 days) having a row with the woman i mentioned earlier (the one whose partner was hit by my friend) over a bottle of cider, of all thing's. This was at about 3 this morning, so it's technically a Saturday morning kick off, i know, but it all count's.
 
Then we had the guy who moved in yesterday afternoon after being released from prison yesterday morning going into another new guy's room (the new guy is lovely though, he's part of our little 'clique' now. He's kind of replaced my friend, who got put out after 2 failed suicide attempts. That sound's horrible, but we all miss our friend, and care about what's happening to him, but we don't know much because we're not family.) The prison guy was actually looking through our new friend's paper work, and drawer's, and he had word's with the prison guy (that's understandable).
 
Then, and this really kinda creeped me out a little too, the prison guy (who i don't like cos he's too creepy) then mentioned my friend by name, wanting to know who she was (when she was sitting next to him) and then knowing stuff about her, when she's never seen him before. Her husband wasn't very happy. It freaked her out, so i'm staying away from him as much as i can. I did ask my friend (who is male, and an ex army guy) to keep an eye on her, if her hubby wasn't around, just to make sure she isn't being bothered by him. He lives on the same floor as my friend and her hubby and the prison guy, so see's them more than i do.
 
Think that's about everything that happened last night in my insane house share. You know, i may miss it when i leave.

I was 'kidnapped' for breakfast this morning.

I was walking down into town, to get my rent money, when i spotted my ex- friend-turned- friend-again, and stopped to talk to him for a bit. Just asked how he was doing, how he was (the usual small talk) when i was spotted by a woman i live with.

I walked down to town with her, and then she insisted that i have breakfast with her. I, politely declined, but she wasn't taking no for an answer.

So, in the cafe, at the next table, this old woman was complaining about how many chip's came with her fish and chip's, how the cucumber was chopped (in her salad) and the prices.

It was another bizzare moment in my life full of bizzareness at the moment.

I'm gonna write about my 'house' adventures.

Too much happen's in my house share to not write about it.

When i say 'too much' i do mean bizzare and strange thing's.

Two night's ago, my mother  was in the gay guy down the hall's room, with the guy next door to him (discussing a stray cat we've decided to adopt) and then another woman on the landing drop's by, and they then try (at 2.30 IN THE MORNING) to watch a James Cagney dvd, but the dvd player won't work.

And then, some other woman, who is drunk, goes in the room, tries to seduce the gay guy and then fall's asleep. The gay guy then has to sleep downstairs, with the cat he's trying to hide from people.

It sounded really funny when my mum was explaining the event's of the night to me yesterday. The most fun i get is going to the pub to watch the football.

There's a new guy who nearly came through the ceiling yesterday, too. I think, then again, you had to be there to see how funny it was.

I'm gonna write about my 'house' adventures.

Too much happen's in my house share to not write about it.

When i say 'too much' i do mean bizzare and strange thing's.

Two night's ago, my mother  was in the gay guy down the hall's room, with the guy next door to him (discussing a stray cat we've decided to adopt) and then another woman on the landing drop's by, and they then try (at 2.30 IN THE MORNING) to watch a James Cagney dvd, but the dvd player won't work.

And then, some other woman, who is drunk, goes in the room, tries to seduce the gay guy and then fall's asleep. The gay guy then has to sleep downstairs, with the cat he's trying to hide from people.

It sounded really funny when my mum was explaining the event's of the night to me yesterday. The most fun i get is going to the pub to watch the football.

There's a new guy who nearly came through the ceiling yesterday, too. I think, then again, you had to be there to see how funny it was.

I'm gonna write about my 'house' adventures.

Too much happen's in my house share to not write about it.

When i say 'too much' i do mean bizzare and strange thing's.

Two night's ago, my mother  was in the gay guy down the hall's room, with the guy next door to him (discussing a stray cat we've decided to adopt) and then another woman on the landing drop's by, and they then try (at 2.30 IN THE MORNING) to watch a James Cagney dvd, but the dvd player won't work.

And then, some other woman, who is drunk, goes in the room, tries to seduce the gay guy and then fall's asleep. The gay guy then has to sleep downstairs, with the cat he's trying to hide from people.

It sounded really funny when my mum was explaining the event's of the night to me yesterday. The most fun i get is going to the pub to watch the football.

There's a new guy who nearly came through the ceiling yesterday, too. I think, then again, you had to be there to see how funny it was.