I alway's suffered from anxiety.

I don't remember the day my anxiety started, but I do remember the first time I felt so scared that something bad was going to happen.

I was on a school trip. Camping (which I hate), or the closest thing to camping I will ever experience, and there was no phones up there in the place I was.

This was the time before internet and mobiles (yes, I am that old).

I remember being so afraid that someone I loved would die and I wouldn't know as I would be so far away. I just cried and cried. It got so bad, my head teacher was going to send me home.

And, typically me, I enjoyed myself the night before we were about to come home. If they put the disco on when I arrived, and not when I was about to leave, I think it would have made all the difference.

In all fairness, though, I do remember being anxious about everything as a kid. I'd wake up in the middle of the night to check the house wasn't on fire or no one was breaking in.

I couldn't sleep until I'd check. It sound's ridicolous, but that's how my mind works.

And I thought it was all a recent thing, but it's not. I've always been anxious, and I don't know why.

I don't know why I've picked up this doom and gloom attitude from. I remember even a couple of years ago, I'd have a 'routine' and if I didn't do that, I'd cry uncontrollably.

I sound like a mad woman. I don't know why I'm remembering all this now, but I am. I think my EFT is a little to blame for unearthing all these memories. I mean that in a good way.

I think in order to really be cured, I think I may have to discover what happened when I was a kid. I know it's one of two things, and neither of them are things that are good.

I think it's time I talked about them both, though, to my therapist. See if she can help me put it to bed once and for all.