Christmas gift's.

I am lucky. I got some wonderful christmas gift's. I got jewellery and bath stuff and make up from my mum, and my boyfriend got me some Audrey Hepburn soap's, which i love, and sock's, which i need, and some make up and toiletries, which i also love.

There was a guy at my house, who i spent christmas day with, who received a packet of biscuit's from his dad. And, what was even funnier (not for the guy) was that he didn't even like the biscuits. They were coconut ring's, and he's allergic to coconut.

And my friend's boyfriend bought her a fluffy dice for her car. Which she hates. She think's anything like that is tacky, and that's her opinion, right or wrong.

Just wanted to say how lucky i am for receiving great gift's.

2014 is going to be a better year.

2014 can't be as bad as 2013 has proven to be. Being made homeless has, without a doubt, being the most traumatic thing that has happened to me.

And yet, i've survived and here to tell the tale.

I am determent 2014 is going to be a good year. I'm going to succeed and be happy. I am going to get the help i need to deal with the problem's in my life.

I am not going to be afraid anymore. I am going to take chances and i am going to follow my heart and i am going to be happy.

I actually have a good memory of living in this place.

Yesterday. Christmas day. There was only about half a dozen of us, but we all had a laugh, and it was fun.

I was expecting it to be rowdy with drunk's fighting, but only one person got drunk, and she was funny and talkative (she wouldn't shut up) and still lovely when she was drunk.

Reading some post's on here, i see how negative i've become. I am gonna (try) to stop the negativity. I am writing about my (bizzare) experiences in a fictional story format, so i am gonna try to make this blog less about my housing situation and more about fun stuff.

I'll be leaving here soon. I have to for the sake of my sanity. So, everyone know's i hate living here. But, from now on, i'm writing about other stuff going on in my life.

Or just what i wanna write about.

I had a good christmas day.

I was dreading spending christmas day in a hostel, but it was actually really good.

It started with a power cut, and no heating or electric, so my housemates (about 6 in total) decided to just put everything together, and we made a turkey dinner, and all sat in the dining room (the least cold room in the house) and was there all day.

We've had no tv, so just had each other's company and it was fun.

The handyman had a personal cassette recorder, and 1 cassette (U2's 'the joshua tree'), the husband and wife got drunk (but lovely and funny with it) and the 18 year old was sitting eating cereal for most of the day, and the other guy there entertained with stories about his life in Brazil.

It was a fun day. It show's that when the bad people are away, how nice the house can be.

Living in this house does have some funny moments.

Like today, for instence, there's a young lad who's lived here for about two week's. When i was in the kitchen earlier, he was telling me and a couple of other people (all nice, as the nice people outnumber the dodgy one's now) about all of the injuries he's received since he got here.

He's hurt his back, neck, shoulder, ankle, leg, wrist and head. He then added (and this is the funny bit) that he is convinced the dodgy big boss is letting himself into his room during the night and having a fight with him, just so he can say that he's beaten someone up that day.

It was funnier in person than i made it seem, but, hey, at least it's not all bad.

Christmas may not be so bad after all.

I know it's not the ideal place to be on christmas day, but at least i have a roof over my head and my mum around me.

And, now the nice manager (he's not connected to the mafia in any way, but did spend 15 year's working in benefit's and housing) has decided he's gonna bring his family on christmas day, and also, bring someone to cook christmas dinner, so it may be ok.

If there's any trouble, he'll deal with it straight away. A lot of the bad people have been thrown out since he came, so it's a better house.

Not really dreading it as much as i was. I've survived all these week's here, and some of them were pretty bad, now it's getting better, i can survive one day here. I know i can.

Look's like i'll be spending christmas at 'home' after all.....

My mum and i had planned to go out for christmas lunch, to get away from the madness for a while, but it appears that wont be happening.
 
Why not?. Well, the gangster big boss has decided he wants the house to be a little 'community' and he thinks everyone spending christmas day together will be a good way for everyone to 'bond'.
 
And everybody to fight, argue and punch each other. Yeah, that's gonna be fun.
 
I don't like to actually argue with him. People who disagree with him have a habit of going missing, and nobody seem's to bat an eyelid when that does happen.
 
I'll be spending christmas day with my mum, going down for lunch with everyone, and then retreating back to my room later on. That way, i can 'join in' without having to do the entire day. Oh yeah, gangster boss is gonna be there, so i am gonna show my face when he's around, and then once he goes, i go too.
 
I've learnt how to survive in this damned house. I've survived about 14 week's. I can survive christmas day. And i see a therapist on christmas eve. I can maybe ask them fior meds to help get me through.

The guy who wouldn't stay away has suddenly dissapeared.

Just to make it clear, the management of this house are VERY dodgy people. People you don't mess with.

And, it just so happens that one guy, who was kicked out of the place, and then came back several times a day (who did piss off the big bosses) has now vanished.

Nobody has seen him or heard him, not even the friends he had in this place.

The rumour mill is circulating that the management has 'got rid' of him, if you catch my drift.

I'm not sure what has happened to him, but all i do know is, i wouldn't like to piss off the management here.

Bus rides do take a long time.

It's great that where i now live, i can use the train to get to town, as it only takes about 25 minutes.

The bad news is that when i'm not going to the town centre, but going somewhere else, it takes a long time on a bus.

Every bus seems to detour to everywhere else before it gets to wherever it's actually going.

By the time you've got to the place you're going, you've forgot what you wanted there.

Some weird guy has moved in....

I walked in yesterday, when he arrived, and he was like "Do you live here?."

No, i'm just visiting the inmates at the asylum, i was so tempted to say.

The weird thing is his eyes. They're wide open, and he doesn't blink. It's a bit unnerving to be around.

Oh, and the best thing is he's two door's up from me. And the light's aren't working. What is it with me and weirdo's?.

Update on my mole worry.

I went to the doctor about the weirdness of my moles, and he had a look at them and assured me that everything is fine.

I do need to have them checked reguarly, but i don't have anything to worry about at the moment.

But it was good i went. If in doubt, get it checked out.

Have you ever thought about doing a 'bucket list'?.

I know it's not the most cheerful of subject's, but in a way it can be, as it's all about achieving ambition's and knowing what you want out of life, and that seem's pretty positive to me.

Someone recently asked me if i had a 'bucket list', and the honest answer is no. I hadn't really thought about it before, but there are a lot of thing's that i wanna do and accomplish in my life, and, at the moment, my life does lack direction, and maybe a 'bucket list' is just what i need to get motivated again.

So, i'm gonna have a think and i'm gonna start making my list of thing's i wanna do before i "kick the bucket".

Why we should remember 'remembrance' day.

This is the day that we remember all the soldier's who lost their lives in battle,

I think it's important that we do remember EVERY soldier who died in battle, and also thank EVERY soldier who has ever fought in battle. They put their lives on the line to try to make the world a safer place.

I remember when i was at school, we did a project about world war II and we had these ex soldier's come in and talk to us. Each one was affected by what they had gone through, and that just stayed with me ever since: how much death and destruction they had seen, and yet survived and were able to move on with their lives and talk about their experiences.


I'm against war, but know that, sometimes, there is no other way. No matter where you stand, pro war or anti war, we should all remember the soldiers.

Time for me to leave.

I've realized, as i've been writing my future best seller (lol) that, as my character has also realized, that it is time to leave this house behind.

I miss my privacy. I miss having my own space, where i can just shut myself away and not be disturbed.

Even when i do that here, someone always knocks asking if they can borrow something, or do i have credit, or why aren't i downstairs watching telly down there.

I'm just feeling claustrophobic and depressed here, and i'm sick and tired of living with the druggies, alcoholic's and the other scum society has turned it's back on.

Fair enough, if the druggies and alco's try to change their lives, but most here don't. They don't care about anything other than getting their next fix.

Well, i'm tired of it. I wanna leave this place. Yes, it's been good, in some way's, but i really need to leave now.

I could manage this house.

The old manager was lovely. Her hubby was a bit dodgy, but from day one, she helped us and made sure we were ok.

That's what this place needs. Someone who can get rid of all the scum, and be tough when needed, but also somebody who listen's and tries to help with your problem's.

There's a guy here who is, well was, friendly with the bosses. He's a bit of a tough guy, and said he would have loved to run this place, but doesn't have the admin skills to do that.

I do. I was thinking we could have managed this place until a replacement for the old manager could have been found.

Well, the guy has, apparently, fallen out of favour with the dodgy bosses, so it look's like it's bye bye to the dream that something good might actually happen to this place anytime soon.

Nobody else cares, and i'm wondering why should i?. The answer?. I have to live here.

I have made a doctor's appointment...

To get the mole that has changed colour looked at. I figured that was better than making myself crazy with worry over what it may (or may not) be.
 
I've made a promise to myself that i'm not gonna worry about it.
 
Also, another one i have has become itchy, so gonna get that looked at, too.
 
Sorry for the little post, but just wanted to update.

I have a mole that's changing colour.

Just recently noticed that i have a mole, on the small of my back, that's changing colour, from a dark brown to a pink.

That can't be good. And it's freaking me out.

I have a 'housemate' who is being tested for skin cancer due to a dodgy mole, and now i have a dodgy mole, i can't help but think 'eek'.

Hopefully, though, it won't be that. I'm not gonna panic. I am gonna go to the doctor and see what he say's. It could be anything.

Main plan: Not to worry until i have to. It's nothing to worry about. I just need to see why it's changing colour.

'Daddy's song' by The Monkees.

From the movie 'Head', this song is a Davy lead vocal, and one i really like. I actually think this song is perfect for Davy, and wouldn't work if another member of the group sang it.

"Year's ago i knew a man/ he was my mother's biggest fan" are the opening lyric's to this song, and, as the title does suggest, it's about a man, who is reflecting on the fact his father left him when he was younger.

I, personally, think that the 'Head' soundtrack is one of the best ever. What with this song, the excellent 'porpoise song', the brilliant 'circle sky' and the very under -rated 'do i have to do this all over again (long title) on it, you have some classic's there already.

I'm still obsessed by The Monkees. I alway's will be obsessed by them. I love quirky thing's, and the boy's are very quirky. I'm a 'Monkee's' fan for life.

I started my novel yesterday....

I've decided that the only way i can take living in my nuthouse anymore is if i turn a negative into a positive.

I've decided my positive is gonna be writing about all of the bizzare, scary and funny thing's that have happened while living there.

My novel is gonna be about a 20 something woman, who goes to a b&b hostel to live for a while when her rough council estate get's bulldozed. While at this hostel, she encounter's some weird and wonderful people (mostly weird) and it's a diary account of stories that have happened to her while she's living there.

It's inspired by real stories i've blogged about, i've just changed some detail's here and there to make it 'fictional', and so nobody realizes it's actually me who wrote it if i do manage to get it published.

The next chapter i am writing is going to be called "The man who wanted to marry a cat".

Whether it get's published or not, it's gonna be something i can look back on and say i survived. Somehow.

I want out of my house.

I really can't take living there anymore.

The event's of last night (watching someone get beaten to within an inch of their life in front of me) have shaken me.

I feel betrayed by the people i thought i could trust and other's have shown that they are just the scum that some people thought they were all along.

The manager's are seriously dodgy people you don't wanna mess with.

I've had enough. I just wanna leave that hellhole behind me, and have some kinda normality back.

It's not every birthday that your mum almost get's kidnapped.

Yesterday evening's event's were as follow's.

I went to have a bath before the celebration /party thing at my house. As i was in bath, my surrogate dad -turned- alcoholic was standing outside, knocking on the door, waiting for me to come out.

That kinda made me feel uncomfortable.

Why did he want me?. So he and i could go for a drink together. Alone. Lucky me (not).

Anyway, someone distracted him, and i managed to get to my room, dressed and make it downstairs, only to find that surrogate dad -turned -alcoholic is forcing my mum to go to the pub with him.

And when i say force, i mean force.

Some people told him to stop, he went to the pub alone, and i had a drink and some cake downstair's and then sat in my room, with my mum, watching CSI:NY episodes.

A memorable birthday i had yesterday.

My birthday...

Is today. Happy birthday to me.

Seriously, you know how i 'broke up' with my boyfriend?. Well, we're back together. I love him and can't imagine sharing my life with anyone else.

And, he got me wonderful birthday gift's that really tell me he know's me inside out: My favourite perfume, for example.

I'm 32 year's old today. And today is the time i start living my life. With my wonderful boyfriend in it.

Surrogate dad has been ok tonight...

Only because his surrogate son had word's with him and told him what an idiot he's been. Still people are been a bit wary of him.

Today has been bizzare, as usual.

The front door won't lock, so anyone could walk in and steal anything. And are management bothered?. No. But the 'big boss' was gonna call a room search over a missing sock.

Me and my 'clique' were randomly singing christmas song's. As you do.

The new couple think they are expecting another baby, but the bloke is claiming the baby to be isn't his.

A guy on the top floor was looking for his dog. He doesn't have one.

When i write this book of mine, i'm gonna have to tone down a lot of this. Nobody will ever believe this is real.

The sane housemate has gone crazy.

That's the guy who is like my dad. Well, for the last few day's, he's been drinking and turned into, pardon the french, a dickhead.

He's getting drunk on cheap cider and pratically living in the pub, and when he is here, he's asking people VERY personal question's and getting into everyone's business.

Like, he asked a member of our 'clique' what colour hair his ex wife had. That's THE only question he asked about her.

WTF does it have to do with him?.

And, just because i asked his advice 6 week's ago about something, doesn't mean i want it now.

Yes, my boyfriend does love me even though i'm here alone. I don't need you and that smackhead you've developed a crush on interfering in my life, spreading stupid rumour's around the house and pissing people off.

That's what i hate about living here. I'm not sure who i can trust anymore. I know for certain there's about 5 people i do trust without any doubt.

I hate living here.

I ended thing's with my boyfriend yesterday.

I'm not really sure why i did it, especially when i know that there is still a lot of love and affection left there.

There's still a chance we can make it work.

I've had a bizzare few week's (as i've mentioned) and i go through a range of emotion's, from being scared and feeling alone and uncomfortable, to being numb and not bothered by what is happening, to having crying fit's and breaking down. Sometimes it's all of these several times in the same day.

I just have no idea what is going on in my head at the moment.

I felt i was 'bad' for my boyfriend, and felt i was adding to his misery and unhappiness.

Everything is a mess at the moment, emotionally speaking.

And my boyfriend (i can't bear to call him an 'ex' as that feel's wrong) has some thing's he need's to work on, and i'm gonna support him while he deal's with them.

That's what you do when you love someone.

I am confident that we can get that spark back and get back together someday.

You can't help how you feel.

That's one thing i've learned over time. You can't help how you feel, and you can't repress those feeling's, otherwise, you end up depressed and miserable.

I've been doing that a lot recently. Repressing how i feel. Scared to hurt the people i care about.

The problem with doing that then becomes a vicious circle of me pretending i don't feel what i feel, and then, whenever i do try to explain how i feel, i feel so guilty for pretending everything is fine anyway, i just keep on pretending (and keeping quiet).

I know i have to be honest about how i feel, no matter how much it hurt's. It's best to get everything out in the open now.

I love living where i live.

Not in the house, obviously, but i do like living beside the coast.

I don't know if i've mentioned it before, but i have a lovely park and the beach just down the street from where i live at the moment, and then, at the top of the street, i have shop's, and just off the street i have the main shopping area.

It's brilliant if you have nothing to do, you can just take a walk around the place, and it fill's in a day, easilly.

I have fallen a bit in love with the place i live now. It does feel like 'home' now. Even if i move away from here, i will be back, as a little bit of my heart will remain here.

'Person of Interest' is back this week.

After what seem's like a wait of month's, the brilliant show that is 'Person of Interest' is back on channel 5 this week.

We, the good people of the United Kingdom, are only a season behind (please note the sarcasm in my voice there), so hopefully channel 5 won't put it on a 'mid season break' for week's, like they did when they showed season one LAST YEAR.

P.O.I is a brilliant show. Along with the excellent 'Justified', these 2 show's are, in my humble opinion, the 2 best U.S drama's out there at the moment. Well written, and not treating viewer's like we're six, both are complex, funny at times and excellent.

I am glad 'P.O.I' is back. Now, all we need now is for channel 5 to start treating it better, and i'm sure the fanbase (well, this fan anyway) will be very happy.

Welcome back Reese, Finch, Fusco and Carter. We missed you.

The local library's computer's are crap.

A housemate /friend asked me to help him do a flyer for a nightclub thing he's organizing (he's a dj) on the computer.

Now, that isn't a problem. Done it before, and it turned out ok.

But, i swear, the local library's computer's had Fred Flinstone designing them.

Actually, even he'd think they were ancient.

For a start, the word art wouldn't go into place. And then, when it eventually did go where we wanted it to go, the picture kept dissapearing.

Then, the computer decided, no matter how much i played with the margin's /page layout, it wouldn't let us actually move the picture. Or resize it.

Then, when we did the footer, the picture and word art went onto another page, or dissapeared altogether.

And then, when we managed to actually get everything to go right, we discovered the printer was out of use. So we had to save it to his email to print out later.

It was an event that is worthy of a mention in the 'this could only happen at my house' log i'm keeping.

Having a dvd night tonight.

With my mum. It's  nice just to have some time together, away from the insanity of the house.

Decided we are gonna work our way through some tv boxset's and watch an episode of each of the following;

Monk (a re-watch).

Arrested Development.

Castle (a re-watch).

Supernatural. (I've seen it before, but my mum hasn't).

CSI (all 3. All re-watches).

The Big Bang Theory. (Re-watch. Big fan's of the show).

Numb3rs (another re-watch, and another favourite).

And gonna check out the local CEX to see if they have another boxset we can work our way through. Maybe something we haven't seen for ages, or something new.

Gonna do the dvd night once or twice a week, and just chill with my mum, like we used to do.

More bizzareness from my house.

Yes, yet another post about the nuthouse where i currently live.

Last night, one of the guy's had a blazing row (and i mean screaming and shouting and yelling) with his non -resident girlfriend right outside the door for the entire house to hear.

Another guy turned up, got shown to his room, went downstairs to do the paperwork and when he went back to his room, they had put some other guy in it.

The new couple managed to get their tv in their room, only to have the reception interupted everytime a car goes past (they are on the main road side of the building).

The manager this morning was shocked when i took my own bread down for breakfast this morning. On the day there was actually bread left.

And i lent my hair dryer to someone, and then it seem's it's taking a tour of the place, as no one quite knows where it is. And i need it to blow dry my hair.

All in all, life at the moment is very bizzare.

I would like to open a shop.

It's taken a while, but i have discovered (at last) what i wanna do with my life.

I would like to open a shop.

Not just any shop, but a gift shop, selling lot's of lovely thing's (and i was thinking about selling dresses too, maybe special occassion dresses, like prom dresses, but i can sort the details out later), hopefully get some crafter's on board and convince them to sell their stuff in my store.

I know it may not be a 'big dream' to many people, but it is to me. I'm tired of being unemployed and rejected from work. I wanna be pro-active in my life.

I wanna create something from nothing and nuture it and watch it grow. I know, in my heart, this is what i wanna do.

I still have to sort out the small detail's, but the passion is there, and i'm determent some day, i'm gonna live the dream.

Weird conversation i had this morning.

Another story from my house, that happened this morning.

Manager: Did you pay the money?.
Me: What money?.
Manager: For the front door key.
Me: Front door key?.
Manager: The front door key you lost in asda.
Me: I didn't lose my key.
Manager: Yes, you did. In asda the other day.
Me: I've not lost my key.
Manager: I have it written down. You told me about it the other day.
Another resident: Wasn't that Tracey?.
Manager: Ah, it was. Yes. (pause). Do you know if she paid for her new key?.

I swear the place get's weirder day after day. And some guy this morning had 7 slices of toast (the manager only put's out one loaf of bread) so that was fun. Not.

At least living in this house is providing me with plenty of stories to tell.

More random thing's from my house.

The next chapter in the never ending saga of my house (and the people i live with).

I flooded the kitchen earlier. How?. Well, i was washing a pan in the sink and, while looking for a bottle of washing up liquid (that someone has stole), the tap over flowed and kitchen flooded.

My bad.

As mentioned, someone has stolen 2 bottles of washing up liquid. And the kitchen bin.

At 8 in the morning, there's 2 big packet's of sugar. By 8.30, there's none left. Someone has a sugar fetish.

The gay cat guy is turning more into a woman as the day's go on. And he is still looking for the cat at 3 in the morning.

Some guy is hanging out of the window with his tv aerial trying to get a reception. And i mean, hanging out.

Someone tried to climb into one of the downstairs windows, while drunk, thinking it was a house up the road.

I am not making up these random and bizzare stories. Sometimes truth IS stranger than fiction.

My best memory of one of my friend's.

Without a doubt, the best moment i've ever spent with one of my friend's was the moment AnneMarie, a friend of mine, found out she was pregnant.

And i was with her.

About 8 month's earlier, her husband and her suffered a miscarriage, and the pair decided that maybe they weren't meant to be parent's, so my friend decided to sign up to university and follow her dream of being a doctor.

And then, about 3 week's after she was accepted at uni, she found out she was pregnant.

She was complaining of flu like symptoms for about a month, and when she was late for the second month in a row, she decided to do a pregnancy test (even though she said it was less than zero chance it would be positive). When the test showed positive, she made me go and get her another test, and that was positive too.

Fast forward four year's, she now has an adorable little boy, and is still at uni, following her dream to be a doctor. And i'll never forget the day she found out she was pregnant.

This is what has happened (so far)in my house.

Yes, another post about my bizzare living arrangement's, but, in my defense, this is a once- in- a -lifetime experience i am living (thank God) and i want to share the bizzzare happenings of what goes on in my house.
 
Here goes.
 
We had a handy man, who, not only could not fix anything at all, but managed to make what ever was broken worse by attempting to fix it in the first place. And he got paid to do it.
 
We have the gay guy, who wear's women's clothing and false boobs, who has become majorly obsessed with a cat that isn't his and vaccuming at 4 in the morning. He also told everyone he was leaving, and then complained that everyone knew he was leaving.
 
We had the guy next door to me who went to live in a tent with some weird alcoholic who threatened to kill him on an hourly basis. He also stole bedding from the house to take to said tent, but he also has taken his fridge freezer to tent with him. I thought he was gonna sell it, but no, apparently he has it there with him.
 
We have camera's all over the place that don't work. Correction, they do work, but are about 6 month's behind 'real time' events.
 
We have a manager who doesn't have a clue what is going on, and doesn't really care what is going on. He also complains about plates and cutlery going missing, while he, actually, has a large collection of plates and cutlery gathering in his office.
 
We have a 'big boss' who makes no secret of the fact he knows a LOT of dodgy people, and then we have dodgy people go 'missing' from our place, and some suspicion's of maybe the big bosses know more about the 'missing' people than what they let on.
 
We have a chav from Sunderland who want's to marry a former multi millionnaire, and the former multi millionnaire going to probation offices with Sunderland chav. He doesn't want to marry her, though.
 
We have dodgy alarm's and electric's in the place, and nobody will listen to the only person who knows how to fix them (and what is wrong with them in the first place) because she's a woman.
 
We have no lock's on any of thje bathroom door's. And the light's in the shower room's don't work.
 
We have no light's on the stair's the majority of the time. And they're dodgy stairs. Cue lot's of people (me included) falling down some of them.
 
We have all, at some point, been out to look for (and collect) a cat that, not only isn't ours, but has a home and owner's who love it. Oh, and it's a boy cat (called tiger) but the gay guy call's it a girl cat called Darling, so we have a transexual cat.
 
We got asked to write list's of what repairs needed doing in our room's. Not only did the repair's not get done, but it managed to cause an argument with 2 member's of the house, and resulted in one of the two being punched and hospitalized for a night.
 
There's probably a lot more stories i could (and probably will) share when i have time to think about all the bizzareevent's that i have witnessed in the last couple of month's. It's one of those 'twilight zone' moment's, when you either have to laugh or cry at the situation.  I choose to laugh, and count down the day's until i crack up totally because i lived in that house.

My friend, who is like my dad, is leaving in 3 week's.

Ever since we moved into the house, this guy has befriended my mum and i, helped us out load's with advice and just listening to our problem's, and became part of our family.

And last night he broke the news to us that he's leaving in 3 week's, to take a job in London.

I'm happy for him, of course i am, but i am sad that he's going. Like i said, he's become part of our family, and like a surrogate dad to me, and i really can't imagine my life without him.

I'm gonna be an emotional wreck, as usual, when he goes. I'm gonna miss him load's. I am gonna try to spend as much time as i can with him before he goes, in case he forget's about me when he does leave (that's a joke. I think).

Being serious, i think the last few week's have, in a bizzare way, being good for me. It's made me analyze what i want out of life, and made me meet new people and try new thing's.

And, not that you'll ever read this, but thank you Mark for being there for me.

Last night's house event's.

Friday night's at my house is now known as 'kick off night', because every Friday, someone always has a fight with someone else.
 
Last night was no exception.
 
First off, we had my friend, who hit the partner of a woman who lives with us, due to a very big misunderstanding, that was all due to a list of repairs that needed doing in my friend's room. Last night, the woman came in, begged my friend to appologize to her partner (who tried to attack my friend, first, according to report's, as i wasn't there, he refused, and then announced he was leaving.
 
My friend is like family to me (yes, it's happened: some people in there are actually like family. I've bonded with people, and it's nice not to feel alone) and if he did leave, then i'd miss him. He's like a dad to me.
 
Second off, we had the resident drunk (the one who tried to seduce the gay guy on my landing after she had a row with her boyfriend, who she's known for 4 days) having a row with the woman i mentioned earlier (the one whose partner was hit by my friend) over a bottle of cider, of all thing's. This was at about 3 this morning, so it's technically a Saturday morning kick off, i know, but it all count's.
 
Then we had the guy who moved in yesterday afternoon after being released from prison yesterday morning going into another new guy's room (the new guy is lovely though, he's part of our little 'clique' now. He's kind of replaced my friend, who got put out after 2 failed suicide attempts. That sound's horrible, but we all miss our friend, and care about what's happening to him, but we don't know much because we're not family.) The prison guy was actually looking through our new friend's paper work, and drawer's, and he had word's with the prison guy (that's understandable).
 
Then, and this really kinda creeped me out a little too, the prison guy (who i don't like cos he's too creepy) then mentioned my friend by name, wanting to know who she was (when she was sitting next to him) and then knowing stuff about her, when she's never seen him before. Her husband wasn't very happy. It freaked her out, so i'm staying away from him as much as i can. I did ask my friend (who is male, and an ex army guy) to keep an eye on her, if her hubby wasn't around, just to make sure she isn't being bothered by him. He lives on the same floor as my friend and her hubby and the prison guy, so see's them more than i do.
 
Think that's about everything that happened last night in my insane house share. You know, i may miss it when i leave.

I was 'kidnapped' for breakfast this morning.

I was walking down into town, to get my rent money, when i spotted my ex- friend-turned- friend-again, and stopped to talk to him for a bit. Just asked how he was doing, how he was (the usual small talk) when i was spotted by a woman i live with.

I walked down to town with her, and then she insisted that i have breakfast with her. I, politely declined, but she wasn't taking no for an answer.

So, in the cafe, at the next table, this old woman was complaining about how many chip's came with her fish and chip's, how the cucumber was chopped (in her salad) and the prices.

It was another bizzare moment in my life full of bizzareness at the moment.

I'm gonna write about my 'house' adventures.

Too much happen's in my house share to not write about it.

When i say 'too much' i do mean bizzare and strange thing's.

Two night's ago, my mother  was in the gay guy down the hall's room, with the guy next door to him (discussing a stray cat we've decided to adopt) and then another woman on the landing drop's by, and they then try (at 2.30 IN THE MORNING) to watch a James Cagney dvd, but the dvd player won't work.

And then, some other woman, who is drunk, goes in the room, tries to seduce the gay guy and then fall's asleep. The gay guy then has to sleep downstairs, with the cat he's trying to hide from people.

It sounded really funny when my mum was explaining the event's of the night to me yesterday. The most fun i get is going to the pub to watch the football.

There's a new guy who nearly came through the ceiling yesterday, too. I think, then again, you had to be there to see how funny it was.

I'm gonna write about my 'house' adventures.

Too much happen's in my house share to not write about it.

When i say 'too much' i do mean bizzare and strange thing's.

Two night's ago, my mother  was in the gay guy down the hall's room, with the guy next door to him (discussing a stray cat we've decided to adopt) and then another woman on the landing drop's by, and they then try (at 2.30 IN THE MORNING) to watch a James Cagney dvd, but the dvd player won't work.

And then, some other woman, who is drunk, goes in the room, tries to seduce the gay guy and then fall's asleep. The gay guy then has to sleep downstairs, with the cat he's trying to hide from people.

It sounded really funny when my mum was explaining the event's of the night to me yesterday. The most fun i get is going to the pub to watch the football.

There's a new guy who nearly came through the ceiling yesterday, too. I think, then again, you had to be there to see how funny it was.

I'm gonna write about my 'house' adventures.

Too much happen's in my house share to not write about it.

When i say 'too much' i do mean bizzare and strange thing's.

Two night's ago, my mother  was in the gay guy down the hall's room, with the guy next door to him (discussing a stray cat we've decided to adopt) and then another woman on the landing drop's by, and they then try (at 2.30 IN THE MORNING) to watch a James Cagney dvd, but the dvd player won't work.

And then, some other woman, who is drunk, goes in the room, tries to seduce the gay guy and then fall's asleep. The gay guy then has to sleep downstairs, with the cat he's trying to hide from people.

It sounded really funny when my mum was explaining the event's of the night to me yesterday. The most fun i get is going to the pub to watch the football.

There's a new guy who nearly came through the ceiling yesterday, too. I think, then again, you had to be there to see how funny it was.

I'm a lucky girl.

I have the BEST boyfriend in the world. Why is that, i hear you ask, well, let me tell you why.

I aint easy to handle at times. I get moody and over emotional, but he knows when i need a hug and when i need to just rant, he listen's to me.

He gives the best hug's ever.

He makes me laugh. A lot. Often when he doesn't mean to.

He's quite old fashioned in a lot of ways. He open's door's for me, and makes sure i'm safe and he buy's me stuff (he bought me a bear to cheer me up the other week) and he's supportive and sweet.

He's also very hot.

I'd like him to compliment me more, but other than that i'm very happy. I love him with all of my heart and really do see us spending the rest of our lives together. I hope we do, anyway.

Heart or head....which one do you follow?.

You know when you're making the 'big' decision's in life, how do you make them?.

Do you follow your heart, and to hell with the consequences, or do you be sensible, and go with your head?.

I ask this, as i have mentioned previously, that i'm going through a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, and the majority of the time i feel that i don't know anything anymore.

Do i go back 'home' or stay where i am, at the beach?. Do i go back to a job i know how to do or challenge myself in a total new one?. Do i have faith in the skill's i have or do i want to 'refresh' them?.

I don't have the answer's to any of these question's. I think i am just gonna play it by ear, and see what (else) life throw's at me.

My favourite 'Beatles' song's.

I had a discussion earlier with the boyfriend about the Beatles, and i thought i would share my favourite song's by the group.

Here goes, in no particular order:

'Paperback Writer'. It inspired 'last train to Clarksville', which i love.

'Love me do'. So catchy.

'Hey Jude'. A classic that i thought everyone would know (not my boyfriend, apparently).

'I wanna hold your hand'. Another catchy tune by the lads.

'Ticket to ride'. I love this song. Always have.

'Yesterday'. So beautiful.

'Penny Lane'. My mum's favourite.

'Let it be'. Another classic.

My favourite cover of a beatles track has to be Billy J Kramer's 'Do you want to know a secret?'. I love that song, and that particular version. Don't know why, i just do.

Wish i didn't call my friend's girlfriend a 'super bitch'.

At the time i didn't know either of them that well, so it was just me judging their relationship 'from the outside'.

But now, i am actually quite good friend's with the guy, and he's been confiding in me about her, and, i realize i may have been wrong to think of her as a 'super bitch'.

Ok, she's treated my friend badly, but she has problem's, and her own issue's to deal with, and a little part of me actually admires her for not letting anyone push her around and not caring what anyone think's of her.

I just really hope she clean's up her act, and realizes she's maybe been given a second chance with my friend. Second chances don't happen that often, and should not be wasted.

Got some of our storage today.

Feel so happy today. I have my stuff (well, some of it anyway) and i feel that i can finally settle down at this house for a bit.

It feel's like we can, eventually, put a line underneath everything that has happened in the last few week's.

Thankyou, too, to my boyfriend, who helped move a load of furniture. We couldn't have done it without him.

Just feel happy at last.

'Burn Notice' is no more.

I love 'Burn Notice', it's one of my favourite show's ever. It's about an ex-spy who is trying to find out who got him sacked (or 'burned', as they call it in the spy world) while trying to help people who need his help.

Michael (the lead character) is helped by his ex girlfriend, the trigger happy Fiona, his best friend, Sam (Bruce Campbell) and later on in the series, Jesse, an agent Michael manages to get 'burned', as well as his chain smoking mum, Madeline.

It's a mix of action, drama, comedy with a little romance thrown in for good measure.

Anyway, the final episode of this brilliant show was aired in America this week. I read some spoiler's, as i have no idea when us in the UK will get to see it, and it sounded good.

Even though the show is no more, i will still watch the dvd's and re-run's. I will ALWAYS love this show.

A little story i wrote, called "Jaded".

She tried to remember back to a time when she was happy, and he was by her side.
It had only been five year's since they had met. They had got married a short time later and they had two children.
But she wasn't enough for him.
He hated the fact that she put the children before his need's. He was not the most important person in her life anymore.
That's why he started having affair's with the girl's in the office. They gave him the attention she didn't.
And yet, she would never leave him. No matter how miserable he made her, she didn't want to be alone.
And he would never leave her because, deep down inside, he still loved her.
They both figured out that it was better to be together and unhappy than it was to be alone and scared.

Ok, i don't think i can cook.

I like cooking, i really do. The only problem is that i really don't think i can actually cook.

I can cook pasta. I'm an expert in throwing pasta (and noodles) in a pan and cooking some great dishes. I can cook pizza. I can also bake cakes and pudding's.

The only thing is i don't think i can cook 'real' food. I undercook or burn everything i cook.

My boyfriend think's i am a domesticated goddess. I think i led him to believe that. The reality is VERY different. I really hope that isn't a deal breaker in our relationship.

I hope he doesn't decide that he can't live with someone who is a domesticated mess.

I really would love to be a 'kitchen queen', but the reality is i am a kitchen nightmare.

I know what i want most of all.

In 10 or 15 year's in the future, i really hope i'm married to my boyfriend, with a couple of kid's running around.

That's what i want most of all. I wanna be with him. I want us to grow old together.

I'm scared, though. He think's i'm some kind of domesticated goddess, and i can cook pasta and pizza, but i undercook or burn everything else. I worry i'm not good enough for him.

I really want him and my mum to get on. Have to initiate some meeting's, i think, so they can get to know each other.

Thing's have been a bit strange the last few week's. I know there's a few issue's we need to work on in our own lives, but i'm willing to do anything to save the best relationship i've ever been in with the only person i've ever been in love with.

And i hope David feel's the same way. As he's the only person i wanna be with.

I over-reacted a little bit yesterday.

I put it down to me having a bad day. I had to go back "home" to try to get some storage out, and, long story short, that didn't go well, and it just reminded me of how much has happened in the past few week's.
 
I am still adjusting to what has happened. I've lived in the same little town, in the SAME HOUSE all of my life, and now i am not, and the reason's why, are still trying to be proccessed by your's truly, here.
 
We saw some people we knew yesterday, too, ands they were asking about stuff that happeneed, and it was all just resulted in having a day that i really wanna forget.
 
On the plus side, though, i did get to watch 'not going out' which i enjoy (being a big Tim Vine fan) and i actually managed to get to sleep without ANYONE knocking on the guy next door's door. So, at the moment, i am a very happy girl.

I wanna leave my house....again.

I'm just fed up of living with a bunch of stranger's who kick off with each other every damn day.

My mum, bless her, is scared like 99% of the time. I'm not exactly loving being here, either.

There's about 5 nice people here, and the rest are the 'psycho's'. I'm not staying here any longer than i have to.

The guy next door to me has 'visitor's' every single night at 2, 3, 4 in the morning, EVERY morning. And the 'zero tolorance' on alcohol and drug's is laughable. Even the 'big boss' smokes pot in the house.

I want to leave. I don't wanna stay here a day longer. I have to, though. But it's not gonna be for long.

I have a new friend.

As you are probably aware, the last few week's have been a bit of a shock to my system. A lot of stuff has happened, and i am still trying to process some of the event's of the last few week's.
 
Anyway, in the process of being in a big house share, as my mum and i are looking for our own place's, i have bonded with a few people. and there's about 5 people in there who i'd like to keep in touch with when i do move out. 
 
Yersterday, however, i met someone in my "house share" who i consider a friend. I spent a lot of time with them yesterday, and i really felt a connection there. Ok, there is a lack of women in my place, and the women that are there are not my age (there's just me, my mum, a woman around my mum's age and a girl about 18 who keep's herself to herself, basically) so this person is a guy, but i have loads of male friends, and i TOTALLY believe that men and women can be friend's without anything happening between them, so don't go getting the wrong idea.
 
It's good, though, that i have people i can talk to, who are in the exact same situation as i am, when living with lot's of people is getting me down, and i feel lonely, and scared, (and my boyfriend is at work, and i don't wanna bother him),  i think i found a friend in the process too, so everything at the moment is really good. Hope it stays that way.

What do you do when you reach a crossroad?.

I'm talking the metaphorically (sp?) crossroad, of course. The one life throw's at us, from time to time, and makes us question everything we thought we knew.

I was having a discussion with a housemate the other day, and the topic came up, as i'm at a crossroad in my life. I've gone through some stuff in the last few month's, and i'm just at the time in my life when i am saying "what am i doing with my life?."

I have so many ambition's and dream's, and being unemployed, i feel like my life is just wasting away like sand in an egg timer. Ok, bad example, but you know what i mean, right?.

I can't stay as i am, as i feel i'm in a rut, but, as i stand at this metaphoric crossroad, i now have to decide which way i'm actually gonna go.

Everything is cool again.

Last night was great. Lot's of different people watching movies. It was really good fun, and i got to talk to lot's of people, so it was good.

I over -reacted, as usual, over the pizza row. I do have a tendancy to worry about stuff i don't actually need to worry about. But, it's who i am. It's what i do.

To quote the great Adrian Monk: "It's a gift. And a curse".

It's not good that i worry about some stuff more than i should, but, at least, while i'm worrying, i'm "problem solving" so i do know how to actually deal with the problem. If that makes sense.

Ok, long story short: I'm enjoying living in the house. I seem to be fitting in ok. I talked to people about my concern's, and i'm embracing the situation i'm in.

Ok, that could change at any minute, but for now, everything's good.

Everything has gone wrong....again.

Just when i was foolish enough to think i was settling and coping, my mother causes world war 3 over a bloody pizza. With one of the people i actually like, and get on with here.

She had a point about this person pushing her to go to citizen's advice, but all my mother has done yesterday and today is complain. She's not ready to go through all of the explaining again about what happened.

I went through it, too. I just want to be happy, and i was doing ok, until tonight, just because someone said that the pizza needed to be cooked another minute or so, my mum's shouting and causing world war 3.

I don't want everyone to hate us, which is what's gonna happen if she continues to act like she's the only one that matters.

I was starting to be happy again. Now, i'm miserable as i'm gonna be sitting alone again in this house, and not really bonding with anyone. Or knowing anyone. Go me!.

Liking my new house better now.

Been there for 2 week's, and it is slowly starting to feel like home.

No, not the home i had before, i won't feel like i'm really "home" until i have my own place back.

I've bonded with a few people at my temporary home. I'm feeling more comfortable speaking up and joining in conversation's now. And i'm starting to know everyone (and their problems lol) and i'm actually starting to feel the "family" unit.

I think i'm, gradually, coming to term's with the event's of the last three week's.

Richard Marx "Hazard".

"My mother came to Hazard when i was just seven". That's a great opening line for a song. Did she and her son move to the town of 'Hazard' when the son was seven, or did something happen to the mother, and the towns people think the son was responsable?.

I think it was the second one. It fit's with the tone of the song. But, that line just pull's me into the song. And, then, there's the mystery of what happened to Mary. He was, apparently, the last person to see her by the river, and now she was either missing or dead, either way, once again, he was being held responsible for poor Mary's fate.

Then there's the line "i have to make it to the river and leave this old Nebraska town". Is he just gonna leave the town on a boat, or some other way, or is he gonna commit suicide?.

Yes, i'm pretty obsessed with this song, but i love 'mysterious" song's ('Ode to Billie Joe' is another obsession) and i never get tired of listening to them. Ever.

I am insecure, i don't mind admitting it.

That's my biggest 'thing'. I am really insecure. Mostly about my look's and my personality, about 90 per cent of the time i think i'm a freak, who should hide herself away from the world.

I do, at times, feel ugly, especially when i see really pretty girl's, i alway's think "i wish i looked like that". They all seem so perfect and so cool, and i'm just little old me.

I know nobody's perfect, but, at times, i really struggle to believe those 'perfect' girl's aren't perfect. I am told i'm pretty, but i just think "yeah, sure i am", in a cynical, sarcastic tone, and pay no attention at all.

And people think ditzy girl's are fake. I AM ditzy. It's not faked. God, i wish i could be one of the cool girl's, but i'm not. I am really ditzy and scatter brained. I was born that way. It's who i am, and i aint gonna change that.

I am gonna beat my insecurities someday. Somehow. I am determent to win the war.

Fountain's of Wayne "Stacy's mom".

I once knew someone who called this 'pop porn'. Ok, it may be that, but it's incredibly catchy, and i love it.

I am a big FOW fan anyway. I love their quirky lyric's, and the 'vibe' of their music, and i actually got into the band just by hearing this song.

I loved it so much, and couldn't stop listening to it, and had to buy an album, which progressed to another, and i became a fan.

"Stacy's mom has got it going on/ She's all i want and i've been waiting for so long/ Stacy can't you see you're just not the girl for me/ I know it might be wrong but i'm in love with Stacy's mom" is the catchy chorous, and the song is just so 'poppy' that i will never grow tired of it ever.

I dream of having a home again.

I just wanna have a place where i can lock the door and shut the world out. A place where i can walk around in my pyjama's and no make up without the fear of bumping into someone.
A place where i can take long bath's and where i can watch whatever i want on telly, and just be around the people i love.
I miss my own space. The motto here is "this is home, and everyone is a family".
I don't share that idea. No, it's not home. I've never had to share my home with 30 plus stranger's before and no, these people are not family. I'm not the kind of person who can say a stranger is like family.
The people i love and care about are my family. They're the people like my mum, my boyfriend, my close friends, not people i've just met.
I'm sorry, but i just want a home again, more than anything.

I feel like i'm in prison.

I'm at this new place and i honestly think that i'm in prison.
There's cctv camera's everywhere, with the bosses knowing your every move. That's a good idea, in theory, but the addict's just know their way around avoiding them.
And then i have my mum checking on me every 5 minutes. I kid you not. She knock's to wake me up, do my washing, to check what time i go to bed. You name it, i get 'checked' for it.
Yes, i have depression. No, i'm not suicidal.
And now i have to avoid the weird guy's and the druggies and alco's, too. Oh, and i'm not allowed to be alone. Apparently, i 'need' to be around people. No, i don't. I just need to find a place and leave.

I kinda like my new place.

I have my own little room, and hopefully i'm bringing in some of my belonging's in over the next few day's, so i'm starting to think of it as home.
Also, everyone there is lovely, and i'm just spending my time in the lounge, watching telly, that's what i did at 'home'. I feel more at peace now with what has happened then what i did last week.
I don't hate the fact i had to move anymore. I have a nice new home, and soon will be getting my own home (hopefully) so it's all good.

I'm not coping at all at the moment.

I feel like i'm in some kind of bad nightmare, and i just wanna wake up and find out that it's all been a bad dream.
I miss my house. I miss having long bath's, and cooking in my kitchen, and just being at home.
I feel as if my life has been taken away, and i just want everything to go back to normal.
I'm really not sure how much more i can take. Sorry for the down post, but just need to get the negativity out.

So, my mum and i got evicted today.

Don't ask. Long story. Basically, my mum (and me) were evicted at noon from our home.
The removal guy turned up, put all the stuff in the van and then the storage people rang. They didn't have a spare unit. So, the council had to sort out a storage unit for us, and me and removal guy had to go along and empty van. Then go back to my now old house, and pick up my mum, then go to newcastle civic centre and find out about the homeless services, and then go to the hotel.
It's been a weird, and very tiring day.

A story i wrote: "Out of her depth".

Everybody told her that she needed help.
But she didn't think she needed help at all.
She never thought of herself as an alcoholic.
She did like a drink, yes, but she didn't think she was addicted.
She could stop anytime she wanted.
The problem was, she didn't want to stop.
Drinking solved the problem's she couldn't stop thinking about when she was sober. The problem's she couldn't solve when she was sober.
To her, drinking was a way to let go and have fun.
But, her family and friend's didn't see it that way.
And soon she would have to pick what she wanted more. Her family or the drink.

A story i wrote "Choices".

He was in a situation he never thought he'd ever be in.
He was torn between two women.
The first woman was his long term girlfriend. She was bubbly, popular and pretty.
But she had recently started a new job and it seemed that she had no time for him anymore.
The second woman was a girl from work.
She had made it clear that she wanted to date him -and she also made it clear she wasn't going to let the fact he had a girlfriend stand in her way.
So, he had a choice to make.
Did he throw it all away for one cheap thrill?. Or did he try to work thing's out with his girlfriend?.
Was he strong enough to reject the advances of the girl from work?. Was he strong enough to deal with the consequences if he did?.
What choice would he eventually have to make?. Only he knew the answer's.

"Baker baker" by Tori Amos.

I think Tori Amos is wonderful. Highly talented and wonderfully quirky, what's not to love?.

I love a lot of her song's, but 'baker baker' is one of my favourite's. It's very beautiful, and i think anyone who has ever lost anyone they love can relate to this song, even though it's really about a woman losing a lover after she has been pushing him away, she pushed too far and he left her.

But, i also think it can be a simple message of don't take the people you love for granted, as you know when you won't have them anymore.

A story i wrote: "Fear".

She stared into the darkness and wondered where he was.
Was he close?. Could he see her?.
She had to stop to catch her breath, but she knew she had to start running again.
Even though her leg's ached, and felt tired, she knew she couldn't stop.
He was trying to kill her.
It was only luck that had caused her to get away from him earlier, but she knew, her luck would run out sooner or later.
She had got a head start earlier, but she knew that she wasn't safe.
She looked around, it had appeared that she had lost him, but that didn't mean she could stop running. He would kill her, if he ever caught her, and she wasn't going to let him catch up with her.
She heard a noise, and that was enough incentive to start running again.
She had to hope her fear would give her enough strength to keep her going.
She could be running for a long, long time. She knew he would never give up chasing after her.

How to make tuna and cucumber bite's.

This makes 10 to 15 bites.

You need:

200g /7oz canned tuna, drained and flaked
1-2 tbsp olive oil
Small handful of chopped fresh parsley
Good squeeze of lemon juice
1/2 small red onion, finely chopped
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 cucumber

Method
1. Mix the tuna with the olive oil, parsley, lemon juice and red onion, and season with the salt and pepper.
2. Cut the cucumber into 1cm thick slices and sit spoonfull's of the tuna mixture on top of each one. Arrange on a plate.

And, there you go. It's that easy. Ideal for parties. Enjoy.

I may write some more Jay/ Vonda fiction.

From my 'From afar' story. I have grown quite attached to the pair, and i'm sure they have plenty of stories left to tell.

For the record, i was listening to Vonda Shepard's "By 7.30" album when i first got the idea for the story. I couldn't think of a name that suited the character (and i like unique names) so i used 'Vonda'. I think it suit's her. As for 'Jay', well, my friend has a little boy called James, and everyone  call's  him 'Jay', so i thought that i'd use the name for the male character.

I do like unique and 'original' names, especially for girl's. Just another way i make my writing unique.

Some more of my favourite tv show quote's.

STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION.
Data: If the warp drive fail's to activate, the result's could be..unfortunate.
Worf: Very unfortunate. We will be dead.

MYSTERIOUS WAYS
Declan Dunn: I even changed my sock's for you.

LAW AND ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIM'S UNIT
John Munch: Liv, Ashley called.
Olivia Benson: Is everything alright?.
John Munch: No. She saw the new N'SYNC video, and was sadly dissapointed, as was i.

LAW AND ORDER
Lenny Briscoe: You do understand that we don't work for you, personally?.

THE SHIELD
Shane Vandrell: Why can't one of them do it?.
Trish George: They don't look gay enough.

THE LONE GUNMEN
Frohike: Ma, i've been dressing myself since i was 40.

MYSTERIOUS WAYS
Declan Dunn: You don't like pancakes?.
Miranda Finklestein: I had a bad experience.

THE AVENGERS
John Steed: Tried working once. Didn't work out. Too much like work.

THE SHIELD
Vic Mackey: Huh, the armenian's speak armenian.

Some 'CSI' quote's.

I love 'CSI', so i thought i'd share some funny quote's from the show with you.

Grissom: Are we paying you by the word?.

Greg: I had to send this to an outside lab since we're not equipped to carry out bacterial DNA analysis. Hint,  hint.

Catherine (as she is telling Grissom everything that is wrong in her life): I haven't had sex in six, no, seven, month's...
Grissom: How can i help?.

Greg: Maybe i should stop trying to impress you.
Grissom: That would impress me.

Brass: Hey, look what i found. A knife with blood on it.
Grissom: Hey, look what i found. Dead guy.

Time to re -name 'Home and away' to 'The Braxton's'?.

To be honest, i've given up on 'Home and Away' at the moment. Why?. Because the Braxton brother's (and their family and never ending enemies) seem to feature in almost ALL of the storylines.

The producer's even sacked the actor who played Sid because he spoke out against the writing and storylines. Sid was one of the best character's in the show, but they got rid of him.

Irene's cancer storyline lasted all of five minutes, and i will never forgive the writer's for the whole April /Heath thing. That was just TOO creepy (Heath wanted Bianca, so slept with her teenage sister to annoy her).

What is the appeal of these criminal's anyway?. Casey is in and out of prison so much they should have a revolving door just for him. Heath, ok, he has the dad thing going for him, and Brax is ok, at times. But, seriously, ENOUGH focus on this damn family, and actually give the other character's some screen time, and some decent storylines.

Really enjoyed 'The deep end'

Watched this last night, and i really enjoyed it.

The film is about a woman, who, after finding the body of her son's gay lover, moves the body, and attempt's to cover up her son's involvement in the victim's life. Then she is contacted by a blackmailer, who threaten's to give the police a 'sex tape' of her son and the victim, unless she pay's him, and his mysterious partner, a large sum of money. Then thing's start to get interesting,(SPOILER ALERT) as the blackmailer and the woman start to forge a bond after he saves the life of her father in law.

It's a slow film, but it managed to totally engage me. It was interesting, and believable. And it didn't hurt that it had Goran Visnjic in it. I loved him in E.R. And Tilda Swinton was really good playing the concerned and protective main character. Will certainly watch it again.

Some of my favourite quote's from my favourite tv show's.

The title explain's it all.

THE AVENGER'S
(while looking at a bed)
Emma Peel: I've alway's rather fancied myself in one of these.
Steed: So have i, i mean, i have too.

DHARMA AND GREG
Greg: I wouldn't want our marriage to get in the way of your dating.

ALLY MCBEAL
Ling Woo: I only go to work to wear my outfits.

THE GOOD WIFE
Alicia: The last time i was in court was 13 year's ago.
Kalinda: I was 12.
Alicia: Thanks.

THE INVISIBLE MAN (2000)
Albert Eberts: Great news, Bobby. I was able to pull a few strings and managed to get you you're very own staple remover.

NEIGHBOURS
Harold Bishop: Don't we need clearence, or something?.
Madge Bishop: Harold, i am not an aircraft.

FRASIER
Frasier Crane: Is there a lightbulb over my head?.
Niles Crane: You have an idea?.
Frasier Crane: No, i'm asking if there's an actual lightbulb over my head.

Elvis Presley 'In the ghetto'.

I absolutely adore this song. It's very sad, and beautiful. It's also been claimed that it was Elvis' first social song, and i won't disagree with that claim.

It's one of my favourite ever Elvis song's, and i have a few, and i love the story of the song. It's very sad. It's a song about a baby being born into poverty, and how, as the baby grow's into a young man, he turn's to crime to get money, and that, ultimately kill's him.

And then, at the end of the song, there's another baby born, who we, the listener, is led to believe will endure the same fate, and tragic ending, as the first young boy. And, even today, the song is relevant. How many children live in poverty?. A lot.

I will stop rambling now. Just wanted to share my love of this song.

Some 'one tree hill' quotes.

I loved 'one tree hill' when it was on, and thought i'd share a few of the most memorable quotes from the show.

Brooke: I was partially naked. At one point i had mitten's on, cause it was cold.

Dan: Well, maybe you could sing them one of your song's and drive them away, like you did with most of your fanbase.

Hayley: Wow, you're good.
Chris: I know.

Dan: He's not dead. He's just....well, i guess he could be dead by now.

My personal favourite quote from the show, this one.
Chris: Chris Keller is too pretty to go to prison.
Julian: That's what i said.
Chris: You said Chris Keller was pretty?.

Can't see 'Breathe in' after all.

It was only being shown at the independant cinema in town, and now, they're no longer showing it.

It was only out a week. And on at really bad times (for me, anyway lol).

I read a few review's that said it was quite slow, and not much happened, but that's why i wanted to watch it. The story is slow and, going by what i've read about it, isn't just a 'oh, i like you, let's go to bed' kind of story. It's (apparently) about 2 people fighting their attraction, and dealing with the consequences when they do give into it.

I will probably buy it on dvd when it comes out. It's still on my 'must watch' list.

Leg exercise.

I've been looking around for exercises that work your leg's, and i found this one, which i'm starting to try.

It's pretty simple (which i like) and it's the following:

Stand facing a wall, with your toes touching the wall and gently push your body up 5 -10 times. Do daily.

I don't touch the wall with my hand's. It's more challenging if you don't.

Exercise: The bum lift.

Found this exercise in an old copy of 'cosmo' magazine, so i thought i would share it with you.

This exercise will work the back of your leg's and thigh's.

1. Lie on your back and bend your knee's, with your feet firmly on the floor.

2. Next, lift your hip's and bum up off the floor so your torso is in a straight line. While holding this position, straighten your left leg and bring it up in the air to a 90 degree angle.

3. Then, keeping it straight, lower leg until it's hovering just above the floor. Do four set's of 15 rep's on each leg.

Chick flick's i like: 'Sleepless in Seattle'.

The ultimate chick flick. This movie star's the ever excellent Tom Hanks as a widowed father, whose son call's a radio phone in show, and tell's the listener all about his father's heartache, and then the father takes over the call, and tell's the host all about his late wife.

Meg Ryan play's a listener, who is on the way to visit  her and her fiance's families for christmas. She hear's the call, and is convinced the lonely, heartbroken man is the one for her.

This movie keep's the couple apart for most of the movie, and, SPOILER ALERT, when they do meet, they don't even kiss. There's no big declaration of love, it's just simple hand holding, and that's enough.

I know that they'll be together forever, living happily ever after.

I LOVE this film. I've seen it about 500 times. It makes me laugh and cry. It's the perfect girlie film.

How to make a pineapple and mango smoothie.

How to make a delicious pineapple and mango smoothie.

You need.

1 lime, peeled, de-seeded and chopped.
The flesh of 1 mango, chopped.
Flesh of 1/2 pineapple, chopped.
2-4 ice cubes.

Method.
Add all the ingredients to a blender and blend until smooth.

And, it's that simple to make a tasty smoothie.

I didn't go to see 'Breathe in' after all.

There's only one cinema near me that is showing this, and there was only one showing today, and it was on too late.
I will probably go and see it next week, but not sure of the times, if i do get to go and see this film, i will post thought's about it.

Decided to see 'Breathe in' at the weekend.

'Breathe in' was advertised when i went to see 'Much ado about nothing' and it looked good.

It's about a music teacher who tries to hide his attraction to a student who goes to live with him and his family. The review's i've read describe it as 'intelligent and heart breaking' so it sound's good, too.

I love character driven stories. And this one look's like my kinda film.

I usually like Guy Pearce. I've seen a few of his film's and, of course, i remember him in 'Home and Away' as David, a teacher who had a doomed affair with student, Sophie. (i loved that storyline. It was so heart breaking) and 'Neighbours' as Mike. 'L.A confidential' is also brilliant.

I will probably blog about the film, so i will let you know if i enjoy it.

'Sex and the city' really WAS groundbreaking.

It's hard to think about now, but before SATC, there was NO show on tv that had women talking about sex and relationship's quite as frank as Carrie and co. did.

Carrie Bradshaw, Samantha Jones, Miranda Hobbes and Charlotte York were groundbreaking women. They had career's, they had wardrobes to die for (i alway's wanted Carrie's shoe collection), they had relationship problem's, and weren't afraid to talk about them.

The show was refreshing and funny. It showed that women could be just as sexually driven as men (Sam, especially). That idea had never really been shown on tv before. It also taught us not to settle for second, not to be afraid of 'going it alone' when needed.

The show was about sex. And fashion. And, above all, friendship. These 4 women were much more than just tv character's. Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte became more like friend's to us  in the time the show aired. I know i'd love the girl's as my friend's.

Some 'Stargate SG1' quotes.

One of my favourite ever show's. Here's some brilliant quotes from the show.

Daniel Jackson: Did he just call me a woman?.

Jack O'Neill: What's your situation?.
Daniel Jackson: I'm hiding. What's yours?.

Jack O'Neill: We come in peace. And we expect to go in one piece.

Daniel Jackson: This taste's like chicken.
Sam Carter: So, what's wrong with that?.
Daniel Jackson: It's macaroni and cheese.

Jack O'Neill: She, uh, she tried to seduce me.
Daniel Jackson: Oh, you poor man.

Sam Carter: If we don't make it, i won't have any regret's. You?.
Jack O'Neill: I'll regret...dying.

A post about the royal baby.

Just seen on the news the picture's of William, Kate and the baby, the future king. They looked like a very happy, content little family unit.

I like William and Kate as a couple. They seem very down to earth. Ok, they're royalty, but they also seem like lovely people. I imagine the baby (who hasn't got a name yet) will inherit his parent's manner (hopefully anyway). They both do a lot for charity, and they both seem to be loved, and want to bring the royal family into a more 'modern, up to date' society. That's no bad thing.

Kate's parent's started out in a council flat, and now they have a future king as a son in law and another as a grandson. The couple have changed the image of the royal family for the better, and i wish them all the best with their baby.

How to make a banana and strawberry smoothie.

You need:

1 large banana
2oog (7 oz) strawberries
240ml (8 fl oz) vanilla yogurt
120 ml (4 fl oz) milk
4 large ice cubes, crushed


All you need to do is place all the ingredient's in a blender and whizz until smooth, and there you are, one delicious smoothie.

How to do a fishtail plait.

Fishtail plait's are 'in' at the moment. If you're not quite sure how to 'do' one (i was a bit clueless until my friend told me) then here's a guide.

1. Sweep hair over to one side and seperate into two section's.

2. Next, take a 5mm piece from the edge of one and take it over to the other piece.

3. Repeat the process, taking a small section from one side and plaiting over to the other until you're near the end's. Secure with a small band at the bottom.

And there you have it, a fishtail plait.

More quote's from 'Monk'.

Sharona: Have you been drinking?.
Randy: Yes, i have. I couldn't think of any other way to get all this scotch into my body.

Adrian: I can't sleep with a crooked shelf in the room.
Sharona: Well, when you turn the light off, you won't see it.

Adrian: I can't go to Mexico.
Sharona: Why not?.
Adrian: It's not here.

Randy: Why did i just get undressed?.
Stottlemeyer: I don't know, Randy, everyone in this room is wondering the same thing.

Randy: Let's pretend this globe represents the earth.
Stottlemeyer: It's a globe, it does represent the earth.

Sharona: She's in the next scene, she kill's a guy.
Adrian: I hope it's the guy who designed these seat's.

Adrian: There's an old saying. Don't change....anything....ever.
Natalie: That's an old saying?.
Adrian: I've been saying it for year's.

Randy: I'll send this down to the lab.
Stottlemeyer: We're in the lab.
Randy: Then, I'll just put it right there.

I have a theory about 'The Big Bang Theory'.

Ok, i've been watching a load of my 'TBBT' dvd's this weekend, and something occured to me.

Why are all the blonde's 'hot' yet the brunette's are not?. Do the writer's have a blonde fetish?.

We have Penny, who is blonde, and is obviously pretty, and Bernadette, who is blonde and yet again, isn't classed as a 'geek'. Yet, Amy, who is brunette, is wrote as frumpy and unappealing.

I know she's a recent character, but Lucy was a brunette, and she had social phobia.

There was Sheldon's assistant, who was brunette and very pretty, but she's not appeared for week's, and only for Sheldon (and Leonard) to have problem's with. She's not really a character in her own right.

I would love them to introduce a REGULAR character who is EITHER a blonde, who they write as dowdy, unconfident and with poor social skill's or a brunette, who is pretty, sassy and  confident. Just to mix thing's up a little.

Gerry and the pacemaker's "I like it".

Another song from the 60's i really like. And one that bring's back some funny memories.

At school, my friend's (now ex) boyfriend played this song non-stop during one music class (he was trying to play it on the guitar, but i don't think he ever did learn how to) so two hour's of 'I like it'. Over and over.

I once stayed with a friend and her nephew played Shayne Ward (him that won x factor) 'that's my goal' 500 times in one night. Just thought i'd share that little memory too.

Luckilly, i liked 'I like it', so the mass playing didn't (really) get on my nerves (much) and everytime i hear it, i still think back to that afternoon in music class.

Some more healthy eating tip's.

If you wanna get a little bit healthier, then some of these tip's can help.

Swap white bread for wholemeal or wholegrain toast. I do this, and love wholemeal toast.

An easy one. Swap bigger plate's for smaller one's. You will have a smaller portion (and it will look like you have more food. How cool is that?).

Have a small glass of wine topped up with soda water.

Swap sugary drink's with 'diet' version's.

Instead of eating out of a big packet (of crisp's or biscuit's, for example), put the snack's in a bowl, and you'll realize how much you're actually eating.


Eat low fat yogurt. Add it to your cereal, have some yogurt with some fruit or just eat the yogurt on it's own for a snack. I am a bit of a yogurt addict.

Add some grated carrot's or pea's to some spag bol, or throw some veg into a sauce.

Men should have a skincare routine, too.

It shouldn't just be women who have a 'skincare routine'. It doesn't have to be a lot of fuss, but a few simple thing's can help men look, and feel, better.

1) cleanse. You can use a men's facial wash.

2) exfoliate. A couple of times a week is all it takes, to get rid of dead cell's.

3) Moisturize. No, it's not 'funny'. Your skin need's moisture, all you're doing is adding a layer of moisture to your skin.

4) protect eyes. You just need to apply an eye cream, to refresh, smooth and moisturize the eye area.

5) protect lip's. Just apply a simple lip balm to moisturize and protect lips.

And that's it. That's all you need to do to help your skin feel and look better.

So, the Monkees tour has started....

I would love to see the boy's 'live' sometime. I am a bit sad that i didn't 'get' into the band sooner and managed to see the 4 boy's tour together (i'd pretty much have to have been born when my mum was for that to happen), but Mike joining Micky and Peter is a big deal, and i'd love to see that.

If you aren't a Monkees fan, then 4th member Davy Jones died a while back. Mike joined Micky and Peter for a little 'tribute' tour and then this year, the three announced (eventually) that they were doing a US tour, and hopefully they may tour other countries. I'm waiting for them coming to the UK, as seeing them 'live' would be a dream come true.

I have a strange obsession/ addiction...

I've been watching repeat's of 'the royal' and i have discovered a strange love of Nick and Marion, and i have found myself writing fan fiction that centre on the pair.

I think it all started when i saw Damien O'Hare (who play's DR Nick) in a CSI the other week. I remembered how much i liked his character in 'the royal' and how much i liked Nick and Marion as a couple, so wrote one fan fic (based on the line in series 8 about the couple eloping due to Marion being pregnant) and that was that.

Well, it was until the repeat's on ITV3 are now up to the Marion and Nick episode's, and i have wrote LOT'S of little 'one shot' fan fic's based on this couple.

It's a shame the couple were only in one series (Marion was in 2 series, but her pairing with Mike didn't get me the same as her and Nick's pairing did) but they'll always be around in my fan fic's.